Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sue Scheff: Radical Parenting

1) There are no ‘perfect parents’, formulas, easy answers or a ‘right’ way to parent. There is a right way for your family, you have to constantly strive to find it.

2) Live the You-Them-You Perspective. Learning to see how the other side feels is one of the most difficult ideas to master. Adopting this yourself and teaching your kids to think about their needs and then other’s needs is a wonderful way to teach children gratitude and perspective. We hope to give you tools to do this.

3) Constantly challenge what we think we know. ‘Radical’ means to question the status quo and what isn’t working. This is how we grow as a family and as human beings. Find your mirror, whether it is our blog, a radical parenting friend, or your spouse to examine patterns and habits that are not working.

4) Stay open-minded. We never know what another person is really thinking. Parents and kids who remain open-minded and open to suggestions have less fights, resentment and guilt.

5) Guilt is not a tool we use. This is a hard one, but we will always try to help you end guilt cycles and passive aggressiveness—help us too!

6) Communicate the hard stuff. Maintain and push for open and honest communication even if it is difficult to say or hear.

7) Abundance in love. You can never express your love for your family members too much.

8 ) Regular weekly Family Bonding Time. Spending quality (not necessarily) quantity time with your family is essential to working out issues, forming bonds and getting to know the unique needs of your family.

9) Monthly Family Check-Ins. Having one family check-in per month and at each family check-in filling out a family sheet for each family member and making new family goals. This is a way for you to become accountable to each other and help other family members achieve their goals.

10) Asking for help from your community. Ask for help from friends, family or other Radical Parent Community members when you need it, you do not have to be alone. Start your own Radical Support Group.
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