Tornado Warning: A Memoir of Teen Dating Violence and Its Effect On A Woman's Life

COMING SOON February 2011:

Tornado Warning - A must read for all teens and parents 

By Elin Stebbins Waldal

Parents, teens, and survivors are lucky that Elin Stebbins Waldal has the courage to share her own harrowing experience with teen dating violence. At 17 she unwittingly fell in love with an abusive man. Tornado Warning is the true, honest portrait of how he whittled her down--with words, hands, and weapons--from a confident teen to the shadow of a woman. But Stebbins Waldal offers more. Interwoven with her real-life journal, she reflects on how this relationship has affected her since, and how she is working to protect her teenagers from succumbing to a similar experience. Provocative and healing, Tornado Warning is a must-read for parents, women, and anyone who has suffered at the hands of a loved one.

About the Author

Elin Stebbins Waldal is a writer, speaker, and founder of girls kNOw more, an organization whose mission is to help build confidence in middle-school-age girls. Elin is the Love Is Not Abuse Coalition State Action Leader for California, which advocates for legislation that will require teen dating abuse curriculum in all middle schools, high schools, and colleges. She is a frequent guest on the WomenontheVerge.com radio show. She is also a regular presenter for Laura's House, an Orange County resource for victims of domestic violence. She was recognized with an Honorable Mention Award in the World of Difference Category by The San Diego County Office of Education for speaking and educating high school students. Additionally, she is a California-state-certified domestic violence advocate. She has contributed to The Courage Network, Safe World for Women, and The Women on the Verge on-line periodicals and also serves as a San Diego Examiner reporter on the subject of teen dating violence. Elin lives in Southern California with her husband, three children, and their family dog.

Pre-order today!

Sue Scheff: Thats Not Cool

ThatsNotCool.com

Your cell phone, IM, and social networks are all a digital extension of who you are. When someone you're with pressures you or disrespects you in those places, that's not cool.

IS THIS ABUSE?

Recognizing Abuse?
Not sure if a situation is abusive or not?
Ask yourself if your boyfriend or girlfriend:

is overly jealous or possessive?
puts you down or criticizes you?
threatens or scares you?
hits, slaps, pushes, or kicks you?
controls where you go, what you wear, or what you do?
tries to stop you from seeing or talking to friends and family?
tries to force you to have sex?

What Can You Do...If you're being abused?

Call the police if you are in danger and seek medical attention if you are hurt.
You are not alone and the abuse is not your fault.
Talk with somebody you trust: a friend or relative, someone from school or your community.
Think independently. Remember that you are the expert about your own life. Don't let anyone talk you into doing something that's not right for you.
Have a safety plan in the event you are abused again.

Here are some tips.

Find out more about being a Tech Savvy Teen

If you think you're being abusive?
Know that there are people and organizations that are equipped to help you.
If you truly care for someone, you will not allow him or her to be abused, by you or anyone else.
Talk to someone you trust, like a close friend, family member, or someone you respect, like a teacher or counselor at school. Ask his/her honest opinion about your behavior.

If your friend is being abused?

If necessary, help your friend get medical attention. Encourage your friend to contact a professional or an adult they trust for help.
Offer your unconditional friendship and support. Be clear that you are there to listen, and not to judge.
Tell your friend it's not his/her fault.
Don't spread gossip. This could make your friend's situation more dangerous.
Don't try to confront the abuser or rush your friend into a decision he/she isn't comfortable with.

If your friend is abusive?

Visit http://www.thatsnotcool.com/Help.aspx for advice and answers to the above concerns.

Sue Scheff: Help stop the sexual abuse of children

Stop It Now!

Our Mission
Stop It Now! prevents the sexual abuse of children by mobilizing adults, families and communities to take actions that protect children before they are harmed.

Our Vision
Adults engage in respectful, caring behavior with children and other adults to create safe, stable and nurturing relationships for all children. Children grow up free of trauma from any form of violence including sexual abuse and exploitation.

Our Philosophy
Stop It Now! was founded on the belief that adults are in the best position to keep children safe from sexual abuse. By adults, we mean parents, survivors, family members, law enforcement, and professionals of all types. We also believe that people who might sexually abuse a child have an important role to play in prevention. No other prevention program has ever directly challenged all adults to take full responsibility for ending sexual abuse.

Challenging individuals to hold themselves accountable is an important and bold first step towards stopping the sexual abuse of children. But it is not enough. We must broaden the notion of adult responsibility to inspire families and communities to push for a corresponding change in societal attitudes and government policies. As a society, we can’t identify effective solutions until we have the courage to face the real problem—people we care about who have lost control.

Our Approach
Stop It Now! relies on the public health model to create programming. Using a combination of research-based public education materials and social marketing campaigns, we seek to change the social climate and foster the prevention of child sexual abuse.

In past public health campaigns, advocates have successfully demanded change in our communities by challenging societal attitudes ("friends don't let friends drive drunk"). Communities have demanded effective public policies which will promote the public health (regulations which prevent smoking in public places). Individuals and communities also have a role to play in preventing the sexual abuse of children.

We believe that sexual abuse of children is preventable. We believe that the best hope for preventing child abuse is by enacting the following policies in our communities:

•Promoting accurate information
•Enhancing services to children who are victims of sex abuse
•Providing specialized treatment programs for sex offenders
•Offering timely sexuality education
•Improving our understanding of behaviors that make children vulnerable
Using the results of interviews and focus groups with survivors, people who have abused children in the past, and the family members of both, we have been developing:

•Sharply focused prevention education materials
•Media messages
•Training tools
•Community-based program strategies
These tools are designed to motivate and support adults to step forward, to speak up, and take action to protect children. With the help of all adults, we have been working to identify, refine and share ways that adults and communities can effectively intervene to protect children and get help for everyone involved.

Stop It Now! has established community-based programs across the US. Together with our sister organization, in the UK & Ireland, Stop It Now! successfully tested the idea that adults will act to prevent the sexual abuse of children IF they have accurate and balanced information, practical resources – and access to support.

Stop It Now! provides a place for adults to voice questions and concerns about child sexual abuse and gives them and their communities the resources to take action. This includes sharing nformation about setting standards for respectful behavior in our families, with friends and in our communities that promote healthy behaviors that protect children.

Follow StopItNow on Twitter @StopItNow