Teen Rage and Anger: Explosive Behavior

Child Rage: Explosive Anger in Kids and Teens

By Janet Lehman, MSW

Screaming fights. Destructive behavior. Volatile moods. Do your child’s anger and rage make you feel exhausted and out of control? In a recent Empowering Parents poll, Angie S. commented, “I walk on eggshells around my 15-year-old son. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m afraid of his explosive temper.” In that same poll, more than 50 percent of respondents said that they end up “losing control and screaming back” when their child’s anger reaches the boiling point. But matching your child’s rage with your own angry response is not the answer. Janet Lehman, MSW, explains why—and tells you how to form a plan to help you handle their behavior.

By getting you to tiptoe around him, your child is teaching you to behave differently—he’s training you to anticipate his angry outbursts.

 

As a parent, one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do is manage your child’s behavior when they are in an angry, volatile mood. Whether you refer to it as a temper tantrum or extreme rage, I believe the most important thing you can do is create a “Rage Plan” to help you handle your child’s behavior. The following 5 steps are the basis of this plan:

1. Make sure the area around your child is safe. Make sure that the area your child is in is safe and that no one can be hurt if and when he lashes out. Remove yourself and any siblings from the area. Reduce any stimulation in his vicinity. Turn off the TV, lower the lights. The idea is to let your child wear himself out. (This step applies to adolescents as well as to young children.)
2. Try to get calm: Even if emotions are running high, work to calm yourself down. Talk to your child in an even tone of voice. Tell him that his behavior is unacceptable and that you’ll speak with him when he’s calmed down. Model good behavior for your child. Remember, kids learn from their parents, which is another reason you want to remain calm. You’re teaching him appropriate ways to manage stressful situations.
3. Don’t respond to name-calling or verbal abuse. If your child is screaming things at you, calling you names, or saying you’re “the worst parent in the world,” do not respond to it. Simply leave the room or send him to his bedroom. Don’t yell back at your child because it will bring you into his rage and make you the focal point of his anger.

Read the entire article from Empowering Parents - click here.

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Sue Scheff: TEEN HELP - Parents at their Wit's End!

Wit's End - Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen

A Mother and Daughter's True Story

By Sue Scheff

Compelling foreword by Dr. David Lustig (as seen on Oprah), author of Parent Survival Training.

It is July - teens are out of school and you may be a parent struggling with a teen that is controlling your household, sneaking out, defiant, disrespectful and more. All these negative activities and behavior may stem from peer pressure or feelings of low self worth. Many of these teens are highly intelligent, as a matter of fact, it is usually that very smart child that is capable of manipulation - or our "angel" child that you wonder where he/she went? That was my story.

If you are going through some hard times with your teenager, don't be a parent in denial, reach out for help, especially if you are looking for residential therapy. Learn from my mistakes, gain from my knowledge.

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Sue Scheff: My Sister's Keeper - A Novel

By Jodi Picoult

As I am half way through this book, it is one of the most amazing stories I have read in a long time. I had not heard of it until I saw the previews for the movie coming out next week.

This is a story of love, family bonds, sibling, parenting and so much more. For any family that has experienced and lived through the stress and pain of that no-so-funny word called "cancer" you will be able to feel these emotions. However for those that haven't been through this, you can get a feeling for what these struggles are up close and personal.

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